Quote If your body is 90% water what have you got to drink water all the time for? Why can’t you just have some crisps? Spoken By – Russell Brand
Quote A woman gets stretch marks from one of two things. Either she was big and got small or she was small and got big. Spoken By – Katt Williams
Quote Most people are dead. Hitler. Ray Charles. Some other guys. But mostly those two. Spoken By – Louis C. K.
Quote Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it’s ribbed for your pleasure. Spoken By – Katt Williams
Quote I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like “Dude, you have abandonment issues” Spoken By – Demetri Martin
Quote That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever? Spoken By – Adam Carolla
Quote I was watching MTV and there were girls dancing in suspended cages. That would be an ambivalent situation: “I’m trapped! …but enjoying the music”. Spoken By – Demetri Martin
Quote No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea… you never get that tea. Spoken By – Jimmy Carr
Quote Amy Winehouse – her surname’s beginning to sound like a description of her liver. Spoken By – Russell Brand
Quote Don’t you DARE use party as a verb in my shop Spoken By – Dylan Moran